I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Randomize
