google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
