You made me cry and you don't even care
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
