why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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