He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
