I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize