i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
