i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
