Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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