Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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