My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
