How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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