he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
