HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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