He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Couch. On fire.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
