i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
