We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
