We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
