He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
