Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
