We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
