I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize