Three words: puerto rican gang bang
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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