i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
