I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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