you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
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Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
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My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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