So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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