i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Let's get the cat blown out
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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