You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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