You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
