pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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