Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
