I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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