Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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