im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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