I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize