it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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