i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize