Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
