I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
