Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
