the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
