somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
