My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
God, I missed his penis.
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