Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
