I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
