Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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