Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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