College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
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