I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I queefed so loud it echoed.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize