just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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