My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
