He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
