I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
