On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
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