I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
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