My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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