I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
