I'm lost and stupid without you.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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