May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
