the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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