If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i out mim tonsoeep
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