yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
