Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
